Don't get so close to change my mind,

Please wipe that look out of your eyes.

Oh you know, just making love to Sha-Sha tomorrow night. I am so excited even if I am going alone. Ben Kweller is so sweet. I've decided I've given up on trying to change myself to fit people like a glove. I've never been a person of permanence in anyone's life and that's usually because they choose this, but I figure there's no point in trying to hold on to strings or changing myself. All I can do is try to be a good friend despite the consequences. I've been holding on so much because I want the past back or I want to be that party girl because I want to go out every night and I'm in New York or because I want to reach out to people I don't know through other people. But if something is meant to happen, it will. I feel like I have chased people my entire life. I'm just gonna sit back, be a little independent, try to meet new people but not kill myself over it, explore this city, and watch as the inevitable unfolds. Either way, I will still be there for you girl.