I am so proud of this...

This city; a senseless, scheming seductress spinning sin;
This popularity of pretentious pricks pondering new paths into producing ‘pious’ actions to protect their personalities and false premises, oh please
Backpacks and bags under eyes begging to disappear so as to bestow beauty upon beasts but are blatant about abusing their allotted time,
Like King Cobra cautiously crouching upon his careless prey, like cancer cowers from chemotherapy but sneakily conquers and kills,
All anyone always asks for is to avenge with animosity and an anonymous sense of accomplishment.
Meanwhile I must manage to mingle among my peers, masterfully repeating the same message, missing Miss Memory Lane prancing about with her Mary Janes in my mind,
Without the passion to thaw out my thoughts through the pen held up by my index finger and thumb because truths are deceiving.
I was an alibi, always livid from a living longing for lies;
Dangerous dares drove me to detrimental paths; I was dancing in a dizzy daze discovering that these disastrous consequences derived from my own decisions.
Chap sticks for chapped lips, chirping chicks to chastise my chagrin for each channel in my changing life;
I won’t win this war wanting and wishing for you, wounding me with words, when it must be we, but without me this time.
I know that for me to forfeit this game, I would have to forgo far-fetched fantasies and fairy tales of fair play, fidelity, friendship; I would need to leave this flame of fervor to flicker to its death.
Go gather your goals, your gay guise and glorified guile,
Because valor varies vastly even in the most vicious of men.
Kings and queens and Gods question and quantify the quality of them, these quivering men, in court while quietly quoting quenching doubts of proper rulings.
But don’t fret, it’s just jargon jumping from my mouth, blue jeans and jackets avoiding the jabbing winter,
Nostalgia nipping me in the nose, nudging me to be nice to people so nasty not even Narcissus would approve of.
Yes I know, I know your yellow skin, your young eyes yearning for the eternal yapping and tapping to cease and desist,
However, haven’t you had the chance to hate and heave up your hostility by now?
My redundancy and repetition might ruin my reputation but I’d rather not ignore my relentless revision of reality and my reasons for seeking relief.
I’m sorry but I should’ve know, all the sweating in between the sheets and shushing of obviously slipping sanity, I should’ve known, so that I wouldn’t have had to suffer so much from such short-sided, shady, and sharp circumstances.
Please understand that I am under immense tension to undo unwanted situations in my utterly tangled web of understatements,
The illusions I imagine in my dreams seem to embody my internal insecurities, and though I seek to intensify my indifference, it is not indifference I imitate but indignation.
I zigzag zealously through situations trying to not be zapped on my way to my personal zenith, trying to remain Zen though my zip code in this city is a farce because I am back at zero, searching for a common zeitgeist amongst people in this era.
I try to remain open to all, even the obnoxious because over and over again I envision other finales to our relationships, only to remain in an more odious position;
And to this day I tediously try to temporarily pause time so that I can tend to my responsibilities as a tender girl of nineteen going on twenty.
These talus X-rays reveal xenon radiated from my television that leaves me feeling like a colorless Xerox, or is it the Xanax?
Enticing me to endure everything I’ve encountered because nothing is ever effortless like in elementary school but it’s all ethereal in the end.