Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ratatat Saturday...

"You know... I've been okay without you, met many new people, in a sense you did give me a fresh start but sometimes I just want to scream. I mean, I did a lot for you, more than I ever thought I'd do for anyone, more than I've ever done for myself. And when I look at my feet as I'm walking and see my shoes it only reminds me that they were the shoes that fucked up my feet for weeks when I walked 6 miles to your house at 4 AM because it was on fire, even though you clearly didn't love me anymore at that point. And it occurs to me... Will this scar me forever like it did you? I really hope not. I don't know what I'm getting at here. None of it will ever ever make a difference or help me understand you or me or what was us."

Every person I like is unattainable. I'm always the one chasing. It's raining and bad thoughts are flooding my head. And I'm so lonely. And I'm so weak.

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