Today was not my favorite of days...

I'm rather homesick. And for some reason I wasn't in a good mood today. Maybe because I am too confused about everything now that it's back to everyday routine and winter break was more of a hiatus from all the stress and the sadness. I'm not sure what I am doing. Classes were okay today. I have some awesome eye candy in Business Law. Multimedia teacher seems awfully confused. Being in college is too weird, growing up is too weird. I come back home for the weekend next week to take my citizenship test and I am counting down the days but that doesn't seem right. New York seems so painful for me while Dallas isn't? Why is that? I think today was just one of those days...



Vague sound of rain pierces through my song again but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays so I let it burn. I just poured my heart out, there's bits of it on the floor. And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water, and call him up for more. And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely, and I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me, and I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too. He said I'm sorry, so sorry. He grabs my wrists as my fingers turn into angry fists and I whisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you, I'll play the part. And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely, and I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me, and I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too. He said I'm sorry, so sorry.