I've been traveling a fair amount because of tennis. That or I've been busy doing things that involve it. As for the other hours of the day, I am too tired to function. Safe to say that being involved in the sport drains me emotionally and physically. I want to quit, but for some reason I can't. I've lost all focus and grasp that I had in my classes last semester. Granted no grades have been collected yet, I am just definitely not in 'A' shape anymore. More often than not I feel like I would really like to just drop what I am doing (i.e. school) and go home. Speaking of home, I am very homesick, I would kill for a weekend in Dallas to just lounge around and do nothing. Today, I had all day to finish a challenging essay that is due tomorrow by 5 PM. It is 3 AM now and for some reason I am not concerned, and still think that I have all the time in the world to complete it well. It seems like I am regressing to the ways of freshman year and that scares me. I've been going out fairly often, but nothing has been very amazing. Last semester was full of these awesome, spontaneous nights but this semester, not so much. Though last night I did attend my first guido party. I'm pretty sure I stood around for 2 hours watching 6 douche bags twirling glow sticks in their bedazzled Ed Hardy shirts. Also, I had the honor of paying 4 dollars for a cup of Sprite with ice to the rim. My mom visited last weekend and it was pretty routine in terms of her behavior. We didn't get into huge fights but just tiny arguments here and there. She purchased me $200 shoes, which I certainly can't complain about. I can't seem to grasp the idea of being 20 yet it seems. I know I am supposed to be going to school and supposed to be studying and supposed to be going to bed at good hours and supposed to work on extracurriculars but I'm so tired of doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Except for, I guess in a sense, I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to be doing at all. I'm just so tired of routine, same shit everyday things. Hell, I even go to the same club every weekend now. Speaking of clubs, I am so tired of those as well. The idea sounds very nice, to go to a swanky, NY club with bouncers at the door and everything, at 20 years old, and walk past all the people waiting in line in 20 degree weather, to go to your very own table with unlimited SKYY. But clubs are so fake, no one I meet seems substantially endowed with brain cells, but they are certainly overpopulated with hormones and sperm. I don't want to be that air-headed. I would like to meet someone in a decent atmosphere, who doesn't try to take me home within 20 seconds of meeting me. And mind you, this is not because I am some rare Aphrodite, but simply because I have a counterpart to said person's genitalia. I cannot wait until summer, I've been lusting for it endlessly for a week now. I want to take road trips to Vegas and Cali and go to Austin and drink into the sweaty night and wear sundresses and sunglasses and see all my friends so that we can complain that we have nothing to do. I want my car and the leather seats that constantly burn my ass because it is so hot in Texas. I want my dog and my dramatic parents and sleeping in until 3 and Buffalo Exchange. New York is depressing me to no end right now, nothing seems as fun. I don't know when I will be done with my stay because I can't imagine living here forever. I'm full of complaints but what else is new.