I'd like to know some things. Like if stability exists. Or if I will be able to find the right person. Friend. And when. And where. I like the idea of belonging somewhere with someone sometimes. New York City awaits after all. I have a weird knot in my stomach, or in my heart? I'd like to be just okay. Everything is so complicated, it's much easier to spend my days alone, without having to hunt anyone down for comfort. It's really not so bad though. I guess the boy situation seeped down the drain, though I thought it was a given. I miss everyone from school so much. I pray and hope and wish that I get Henly Road next year but since I said that I now probably won't. But I would really do anything to get it. It occurs to me that this is going to be a short summer. I think I am going to Russia for a month yet again. I don't actually want to, I wish my family was closer to me. I hate that my parents put me in the middle of their nasty grudges and arguments. I really hate that I am not liked back. And I really really hate that stupid dance. But most of all I hate cliches. When people are walking, talking, overwhelming cliches. I don't think anyone is who I once knew anymore. And that's okay. I've become really lazy. I'd like for someone to just... get me. I need my job at TCBY back so it can suck away at my personality and my free time. Haha, I guess you were right, I am such a sucker after all.

But things are really not that bad, I don't know why I feel the need to be perpetually depressing.