2010.

I forgot I had this for a second.
So, happy 2010. This fall semester I made all As, which is a huge improvement from last year. For Christmas I received some perfume and giftcards to food places. Yesterday, I panicked at the thought of seeing you. I don't know why I'm scared, but all I know is that I'm not ready, and I don't think I will ever be. This year I want to be a better person. I want to continue doing well in school. I want to lose some weight. I want to do well in tennis and not quit though I know it will be difficult. I want to not feel the urge to talk to you or miss you. I want to be more confident. I want to grow into myself. It is a new decade after all. We all know resolutions are crap, and maybe I am a little drunk, but I know these are good ambitions. I wrote a poem the other day, but it is too depressing and too nostalgic to ever reveal to anyone. I have a good friend at school who has helped me regain hope in genuine friendships. Everything is just peachy but I feel a little lonely. Don't know how to fix it. I guess I just don't know how not to be depressing when I write about my life, though ultimately there is nothing wrong in particular. And ultimately I have a lot going for me. Isn't that the worst feeling ever? Like you know you should stop complaining and be okay, but something inside your intestines doesn't feel right? Everything is fine though, I swear, and that's as light-hearted as I can be right this second.